Sports Night Bathroom

Good morning,


During another night of copious rest, my subconscious has again dazzled me with fantastical occurrences. This one was one continuous dream, but again unique as it featured environments from previous dreams. Here we go...

I was in the rather large gymnasium of my elementary school. Apparently it was a sports night because a bunch of random people and I were playing floor hockey. The person in charge of this scrimmage was the draconian gym coach, Mrs. Beese. Side note :(Of all the gym teachers I've ever had, Mrs. Beese was definitively the absolute worst of all of them. She threw me out of 3rd grade intramural dodgeball for 'giving her sass') Mrs. Beese was being her normal, annoying self by telling us exactly how for out of position each one of us was on each play in the floor hockey game.

After the game had ended, all of the people who were in the gym retired to the men's locker room. This was no ordinary locker room, this was quite possibly the nicest locker room in existence. This is the environment I mentioned before that has appeared in multiple dreams. When I walked in I was confronted with a wall of mahogany stalls with bronze door handles. As I followed the room further back, I turned a corner to find a wall of sinks and mirrors with a staircase leading up to another level. The stairs rose above a wardrobe that looked like a gateway to Narnia. I continued on past another bend to find a grand piano. Not just any grand piano, the most beautiful piano i had ever seen in my life. It was all plated gold with white accents and the keys were made of real ivory and ebony. The closest ting to this piano is probably the concert grand in the ballroom of the White House.

I touched my finger to middle C and instantly the most pure tone I had ever heard rang throughout the entire room. I was elated, and sat down to play more. However, as soon as I sat down, the piano and I were moved into a courtyard garden with ivy hanging from those open ceiling frames they have. I looked at the piano to find that it had been covered with things people find when cleaning up ghetto beaches. There was about a foot of sand, broken bottles, syringes, broken bricks, dead animals,cigarette butts, seaweed and a bunch of other trash covering this beautiful piano. I tried hard to clear all that clutter off and play this gorgeous instrument, but it was to no avail.

Thats all.

Fish Dreams

To My Loyal Readership,
Thanks to you, I have accumulated over 125 page views in only a week of blogging! I apologize for not posting the past few days. With finals comes less sleep, and less sleep means less dreams. I thought 'Maybe i'll post about something else' but soon realized that my life is pretty boring. But I got a solid 11 and 1/2 hours last night, so I have a dream to share.

As I mentioned in the first post (creatively titled 'First Post') the reason I've been having all these crazy dreams is because I am on the top bunk. We rebunked our beds because of a baller fish tank so the dream about fish I had last night makes it all come full circle. sorta.
<dream>
The dream started in a fish tank in my basement. Since my room mate couldn't take care of our fish, I had to baby sit them over the Christmas holiday. But there were some amazing  looking fish sitting in plastic bags over the tank. One fish looked like Gill from 'Finding Nemo' another looked like the rainbow fish they show on National Geographic. These were beautiful animals, so I decided to put them in my fish tank.

I was very pleased with these fish, and my cousins were too. Until my little cousin asked me, "Why is that big one eating all the other fish?" I looked over to see a huge grouper with the Moorish Idol in his mouth. I had no clue how the grouper got in there but I looked closer to see that there were actually too. One was blue and the other one was yellow. Both the large, hideous fish were eating all the small beautiful fish untill there were none left.

At that point, when all the other fish had been eaten, the two huge fish went after each other, biting each others mouth untill they both floated to the top dead.

Then I was backpacking through the great Northwoods of Wisconsin. A thin, windy trail lead me through the towering hardwood forest. As to looked up to admire this pristine wildernere, I took a deep breath to have the cool, clean air fill my lungs.

</dream>
Of all the dreams I've had, the first part of this last set could be the only dream where there exists an interpretation beyond 'this kid is crazy'. I thought for a bit to what that could refer. Is it the devastating impact of invasive species? Do the beautiful fish represent the small business that multinational corporations wipe out? I'm not sure, but I have some chem to study, so I'll catch all y'all later.

-Jim

The State Capitol

Greetings!

This one is on par with some of the other rather crazy dreams that have been posted before. This one is going to be the longest yet, so I might as well jump  right in.

I started on the steps of the state capitol building in beautiful Springfield, Illinois. I walked in and took a very nice elevator up to the top floor. When I arrived at the top, it was different than I remember; instead of a tall chamber culminating in a dome, each level had a floor that was shaped like a huge funnel with a small hole in the bottom. I remember thinking that I would be screwed if i were to fall through that hole, seeing as there is another identical setup on the three floors below me. Taking that into consideration, I slowly and cautiously proceeded into a white room. The floor, the ceiling and all the walls were painted a stark white. There was no furniture in this room, but there was a small slit that ran the length of the longer wall and a window looking at the train station. Curious, I walked over to see why a slit had been placed in this otherwise empty room. Upon further inspection, I realized that there was a conveyor belt that ran behind the slit and my purpose for coming to this room was to get as many things off the conveyor as possible

At this point, I wasn't alone any more. I was joined by two of my fellow conveyor-belt cleaners who were charged with the same task. As we stuck our hands into the dark slit, we were all surprised to see what we were scooping out. The damp, warm colorful material on that belt was like nothing any of us had ever felt or seen before. The closest comparison I have is multi-colored and good smelling wet Styrofoam. All of us them knew that the substance on the conveyor could have been far more disgusting, so were glad to handle this excellent goo.

We grabbed that paste of the conveyor belt for a solid five minutes before I realized that if I was to get back home, I could not miss the train at any cost. I kept on glancing out the window, to see if my train was at the dimly lit station. I glanced at my schedule a to see that the next train boarded in 5 minute, I had to get out of there, So we vacated that strange white room, and headed back into the hall, ever weary of those dangerous floor-funnels. When we reached the bottom floor, it had turned into a sports bar with very high ceilings. The ceilings were made of a whiteboard material and people were writing their names on them with yellow markers. With no time to lose I ran right out of the sports bar / State Capitol and rushed to the train station.

NOTE: this next part was weird because it was light out during this, but the rest of my dream was at night.

If you aren't as intimately familiar with the geography of downtown Springfield as I am, it would behove you to know that about a block away from the current capitol building is the 'Old State Capitol'. I rushed to that building only to find it had been turned into a shopping mall. I walked in to the Sports Authority and my olfactory glands were tickled with the scent of freshly poured PVC. Not in the need of any sporting equipment, I left that store then I came to the realization that I had missed my train.

Its nighttime again:
I ran to the station platform to see it bare. I had missed the last train of the night, I was stranded in Springfield for the night.


 Thats all.

Adventures With Thrust Blocks

Salutations readers,
Wow. 2 POSTS IN ONE DAY! There is just so much exciting stuff going on. Anyway this on actually is a dream.


At around 4:15 this morning I woke up with  no dream to share. But I was determined to satisfy my loyal readership, so I returned to my slumber to see if I could maybe get a dream out. And it happened. Bigtime. I know I say this every post, but this dream blows all the others out of the water in terms of ludicrousity and sheer absurdity. Here it is.

I was walking back to my dorm, and someone runs up to me with a drawing in hand. It looks like a combination of a thrust block and a hot-water-on-demand heater. This kid tells me it is vitally important to deliver these plans to the CIA. I respond to this request without question.

Suddenly I am lying in my bed back at home. I glance up at my clock-radio to see that it is around 12:30 on Christmas morning. I try and go back to sleep, when my younger sister bursts into my room yelling "CHRISTMAS!" I tell her that it is time to go to sleep and not a time for excitement, but she is having none of it. She goes on to tell me how her friend is applying to the 'Simón Bolívar School of Music' in upstate New York.

My younger sister shows me her friend's audition tape for this selective program. The audition is in the form of a documentary and it begins with this skinny kid with long wavy hair standing on a rope bridge. He goes on to explain how old this bridge is and then starts to do cartwheels on it, narrowly missing a gaping hole in one of the planks in the bridge.

By the time this movie is over, my parents explain that before I can eat breakfast, I must construct a model rocket. I find an old rocket kit and start to assemble it. When I'm almost done I realize that two of the four stabilizers on the bottom of the craft are broken beyond repair. Looking around for materials to replace the damaged fins, I notice that there is a plant nearby. Instinctively I reach for the long, green leaves of the plant and place them where the stabilizers would go, but for they don't fit.

As if there was a change of scene in a movie, I now find myself in a dark conference room with a man in a suit who looks kind of like Dick Cheney at the other end of a long, mahogany table. He looks directly at me and says. Liberal Conservatism will privitize the CIA.

And then my dream ends.

That time I spotted a guy who put up 405 lbs

This isn't a dream, it actually happened in real life.
I repeat, this isn't a dream, it actually happened in real life.

I am a total workout junkie, so every day I go to the gym to exercise. I was warming up for a set of bench pressing when a man walks up to me and asks, "Can I get a spot?"


Being the helpful and courteous person I am, I reply, "Sure"


To say this guy was big would be like saying that Michael Jordan was all right at basketball or that Mt McKinley is kinda tall. Now I've never been to a live WWE Fight, but this man was definitively the most muscular person I have ever seen in person. His biceps probably had diameters of 12 inches and his chest could easily been mistaken for a medium sized tree trunk. This man was huge.


I walk over to his bench to see exactly what I got myself into. I look at the bar to see four plates on each side. 8 Plates in total. 8 PLATES. I ask him, "How much weight is that?"


He replies non-chalantly, "About 405 pounds."


Four hundred and five pounds?!?! I tried to think what else weighs four hundred and five pounds. Do dolphins weigh that much? I was dumbstruck.


I asked, "What should I do?"


He anwered, "Just help me if I can't get it, or it falls or something"


I thought, 'that weighs just under three times my own body weight. If that thing falls, the odds of me being able to pick it up are about as good as the Cubs winning the world series.'


My body-builder friend cranked up his death metal and took his position on the bench and I took mine behind the bar. He raised his hands up slowly together and moved the tips of his fingers slowly across the bar. When each hand arrived at at the proper location, he slowly wrapped his fingers around the bar and stayed motionless for ten seconds.


After a deep inhale, he exhaled violently and threw the massive weight up into the air. In one powerful motion he dropped it and thrust it back up just as quickly. He held it in the air for a second and dropped in back on the rack. I felt the ground shake.


He thanked me and I responed, "Any time" and returned back to my bar with 25s.

Rolling in the Deep

Mornin'

My dream last night was a bit hazy and very strange; the only thing I remember clearly of it was getting into a heated argument with a homeless man in a sewer while sitting in plastic patio furniture. My otherwise lack of recollection does not meet the standards for this blog, so for the sake of maintaining the integrity of this fine publication, I will omit this one.

But I'm not done yet.

Over the past week or so, I have made it my goal to find the best cover of Rolling in the Deep on YouTube. Why 'Rolling in the Deep'? Simple, Its a catchy tune and people love to make their own covers of it. This quest has lead me so hundreds of videos, some good, some absolutely terrible. While its hard to choose a definitive favorite, there are several that were simply phenomenal.

Without further adieu, here are the top five

Number Five 


You may be thinking 'why the hell did he choose a screamo cover' All facetiousness
aside, it is actually very well done. While it may not be as true to the original as many others, it doesn't change the structure enough to irritate me.

And it's really brutal.

Number 4



Definitively the best techno/electronic/dubstep cover on the 'Tube. Solid drop, steady pace, excellent imitation of a dial-up modem. In total, everything I could ask for in a Dubstep cover. By far the best cover I found with less than 5,000 views.

Number 3




The youngest artist that appears on this list, this little kid tears it up on the violin. Swag points for the Beats and the glasses and musicality props for the pentatonic transition between the first verse and the bridge.

Number 2





As a total Classical Music nerd, I felt an orchestrated version was necessary to have on the top five and this one was the best. Unlike most of the covers I found, this one takes a more lighthearted approach to a usually overemotional song. From the name of the symphony (the Linsay Lohan Symphony for Temperance and Sobriety) to the varied instrumentation. This one is a joy to listen to.


Number 1




C'mon. It's the boys (and girl) overseas serving our country and making a kickass cover all at the same time. Possibly the closest to the original on the list, it never ceases to impress me how they can get such a great sound with 2 guitars, a bass , a blue violin, a bongo drum, and a shaker. And that Staff Sargent can sing. Well.



BONUS
The Worst cover on YouTube

Marquette Finny debates Bill

Hello all,

Last night was yet again a wonderful night for having fantastical dreams. This one was less adventurous and more simply bizarre than ones of previous nights. The recurring theme of Abraham Lincoln seems to permeate my subconscious for reasons that still allude me, but whatever, it makes for a weird sort of connection between my slumberous thoughts.

I had two dreams last night, but sadly I only remember one, I'm calling it Marquette Finny. To fully understand this, you need some background information. Back in the good ol' days, I was a member of Croquet Club, and there was this person I played named Finny. Finny was a character who always had something to say that no one would ever expect. He was also very tall and lanky. Another character is Bill; all you need to know is that he is a small, Hawaiian boy.

Here the dream is..

I had this dream that I was in the student section of a Marquette University mens' basketball game. Like most student sections, there are a few people up front who live a die for that particular sports team. These are the guys who lead all the cheers, heckle the ref, high five the players etc. I noticed that one of them looked very familiar, and a closer investigation lead me to the conclusion that it was Finny, the Croquet player from back in the day. Only everyone was calling him 'Marquette Finny' and he was wearing a lacross pinnie made completely out of masking tape. Marquette Finny was the life of the student section, every play he went absolutely crazy. After a while, some one shouted, "Hey Marquette Finny, do Lincoln!"

Finny responded in the affirmative and somehow donned a full Abraham Lincoln costume right in the front row of the student section. The crowd loved it, everybody was going nuts for Marquette Finny. From the back corner of the bleachers, someone shouted, "I Challenge you to a DEBATE!" I looked over to see Bill, dressed as Stephen Douglas standing in the back row with an outstreched arm pointed directly at Marquette Finny.

After that, the dream turned into a black and white photo-montage of Pictures of Marquette Finny doing funny things in an Abraham Lincoln costume.

It was one of the stranger dreams I've had.

First Post

SUP!

Last week, in order to make room for our new fish tank, my room mate and I rebunked our beds. I took top bunk, and it turned out to be the best decision of my life. Every single night since then, I have had the craziest dreams. We're not talking like "okay, that was a bit strange" crazy.  I'm talking full-on, Salvador Dali, Book of Revelation caliber dreams. Take this one..

I was in a library that had a huge statue of Abraham Lincoln. It was all bronze and about the size of the Statue of Liberty surrounded by circular balconies of bookcases. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, so I decided to break in after closing to show my cousins. We walked in the back door and marvelled at the grandiosity of that splendid statue. Then we proceeded to read the works of F Scott Fitzgerald. Suddenly the head librarian came and told us to leave. We grudgingly agreed and walked out of that super cool library

Abruptly, I turned into a mouse, and I was in a coastal Caribbean Village. I opened my paws to find four washers; I knew I couldn't lose those washers. I looked around to see that I was on the hand rail of a porch. looking out on the ocean. I came to the realisation that the only way to become human again was to board Captain Jack Sparrow's ship, The Black Pearl. Mouse-me scurried until I found a kindly young man that offered me a ride to the 'drop-off' in his jeep-boat. We took off full speed at the waves when his yellow Jeep turned into a speedboat and jumped right over the treacherous surf. After a short, turbulent ride, we were in the open ocean, and it was time for me to hop off. I said thank you, washers in hand, and hopped down into the sea.


Surprisingly, it wasn't very deep. In fact it was like a sand bar. While I was underwater, I saw all these people lined up at the drop-off, peering into the abyss. I (by the way I'm back to a person at this point) walked forward and looked over too. It was like a terraced staircase leading to the black depths of the ocean. Each step was covered in those big, tubed coral things. I saw a kid jump down to the first step and push off returning back to everybody else. He encouraged me to do the same, so I olbiged and hopped down. The coral cylinders felt soft and cool on my feet, but I pushed off and returned. A middle aged women told me, "Very Good!"

I thought, "THAT LADY CAN TALK UNDERWATER!" As soon as I thought that, I lost my ability to breathe/ talk underwater and I was forced to swim up to the surface. When I broke into the air, I checked to make sure that I still had my four washers and



then my alarm rang, time for Calc.