The Five Guys You Meet In College

Hello loyal readers,

After a 8-month hiatus, I have decided to begin blogging again in order to preserve the wonderful occurrences that may fail to live on in the litany of my stories. While nothing of consequence has occurred in a while, fear not for I will always have material upon which to rant. 

In my never-ending attempt to make sense of the world around me, I have developed a taxonomy for grouping the college age males I meet on a daily basis. I call it The Five Guys You Meet In College

First Type: The Man
When you hear the term "the man" your mind may instantly equate it to 'the guy who keeps you down' or 'the guy I stick it too', however in this case the term is used completely opposite. My interpretation of the man is the guy who you and everybody else likes spending time with.

Second Type: The Great Guy
While not quite as affable as "The Man', the 'Great Guy' is yet another type which you like hanging with. Of the five types, The Great Guy probably makes up the largest percentage of the population. Most people I run into, I would categorize ads good guys, but as soon as you get to know them, they'll probably fall into the great guy category.

Third Type: The Lovable Loser
The lovable loser is that quirky guy you can't help but like. That guy in your physics discussion who makes an offbeat joke that you find yourself laughing hysterically to. The lovable loser has a bizarre personality and enjoys making astute observations from a totally different point of view.

Fourth Type: The Boner
The boner is the guy who thinks he's the man, but in reality falls far short of his own self image. The boner can is very arrogant and expects others to worship him the the way he worships himself. The boner lives in a mentally constructed world in which he is infallible and will get very upset when you correct his egocentric worldview. The boner is very polarizing. If you are good friends with the boner, you think he is a great guy or even the man. If not, he is relegated to Urchin status.

Fifth Type: The Urchin
The Urchin is the most deplorable form of existence on the college campus. The Urchin is that guy who alternates between the Dropbox shirt, the E-Week shirt and the freshman fest shirt, The Urchin is that guy who lectures you on the dangers of Polar Bear gingivitis. The urchin is the guy who brags to you about playing a drunk round of starcraft on a Friday night.

These types are not absolute and people usually switch between them depending on the situation. However I would say that 90% of the population definitively fits into one of these five types.